


At The Mall - Shop Yourself Stupid

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Gen, Series: Mardi Gras Trilogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-02-29
Updated: 2000-02-29
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11128932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Fraser helps Ray at another Mardi Gras event and learns more new thingsThis story is a sequel toAt The Fair.





	At The Mall - Shop Yourself Stupid

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Mardi Gras Trilogy Part Two

 

 

Part Two of the trilogy celebrating the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi  
Gras. The events described herein are real.  
  
Notes: Victoria Barracks is an old army barracks on Oxford Street, Paddington,  
the original gay part of town. The reason you need to know this will  
become apparent.  
  
Rated PG  
  
At The Mall - Shop Yourself Stupid  
  
 _Let me welcome you ladies and gentlemen_  
I would like to say hello  
Are you ready for some entertainment?  


_Are you ready for a show?_ |    | _Let Me Entertain You - Queen_  
---|---|---  
  
  
  
"So what exactly is it we have to do at the mall, Ray?" Fraser  
asked as they got out of Ray's GTO.  
  
Ray chuckled as they strolled across the carpark towards the entrance.  
"Well, Fraser, it seems we made such a hit last Sunday at the Gay  
Pride Fair Day, that when the organisers of this little shindig were  
told they needed police presence, they specifically requested you and  
me."  
  
"Oh, well that *is* flattering." Fraser beamed with pride,  
pleased he had chosen to wear his dress reds. "But just what is  
this 'little shindig'?" he asked as they stepped through the automatic  
doors and into the mall itself.  
  
On cue a drag queen in an electric blue sequined gown and matching wig  
wandered across their path and disappeared into a store.  
  
Fraser whipped his head around to stare at Ray, only mildly surprised  
to find his friend laughing.  
  
"An AIDS benefit." He stopped, running a hand over his face.  
"A drag show, Fraser."  
  
"A drag show?" He stared at Ray for a moment. "In the  
*mall*?"  
  
"Yeah. There's a lot of gay people living in this area, so the mall  
decided to ......"  
  
"Capitalise on it?" Fraser finished for him, finally noticing  
the colourful displays and posters all over the mall encouraging people  
to 'Shop Yourself Stupid'.  
  
"Yeah. Capitalise would be a good word. That works."  
  
"So what do we have to do?"  
  
Ray shrugged. "Nothing much, just hang around the stage. Pan will  
probably introduce us."  
  
"Pan?" Fraser's eyes widened. "As in Pan Am?"   
He shuddered, remembering his last embarrassing encounter with Pan Am.  
For once he was pleased he had not been allowed to bring Diefenbaker.  
  
"Yeah. Didn't I mention that?" Ray scratched his head and  
gave Fraser a mischievous look. "It's, ah, it's Pan's show."  
  
"Oh." Fraser straightened to his full height and tugged at  
the hem of his tunic. He could deal with this. He was, after all, a  
Mountie.  
  
Before they had time to discuss it further, the same handsome blonde  
man, Tom Gleeson, who had supplied them with t-shirts on Fair Day approached  
them. After greeting Ray and Fraser he led them through the mall to  
the stage area, pointing out a number of displays of gaudy sequined costumes  
in store windows as they went.  
  
"These costumes have come from Australia," the man who introduced  
himself as Tom explained. "The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras  
committee loaned them to us. I met several of the committee members  
when I was down there for Mardi Gras earlier this year."  
  
"Very, ah, detailed work, Tom," Fraser mumbled, stumbling to  
find an appropriate phrase.  
  
"I hear they close off parts of the city for the parade?" Ray  
asked, as much for his own interest as to cover Fraser's embarrassment.  
  
Tom grinned. "Yes, it's great. The entire street where the parade  
is held is closed for the day. A few years ago, though, the parade started  
taking a detour."  
  
"A detour?"  
  
"Yes, the parade now detours past St Vincent's Hospice where many  
previous parade participants are dying."  
  
Fraser cocked his head to one side. "AIDS?"  
  
Tom's expression turned sad. "Yes. Apparently some of them hang  
on for Mardi Gras and then die peacefully. St Vincent's records its  
highest rate of AIDS related deaths in the week after Mardi Gras."  
  
Fraser gave a sad smile and looked at Ray, who had been surprisingly  
silent during this exchange.  
  
Tom smiled again. "And that's what today's show is all about.   
The more money we can raise for AIDS research, the sooner we'll have  
a cure."  
  
"I'll drink to that," Ray muttered softly.  
  
Tom grinned at them both. "Come on, let's get over to the stage,  
the show starts soon."  
  
  
Amongst the quickly growing crowd of shoppers the three men found a clear  
space to stand near a trestle table filled with leaflets and posters,  
many of which bore the familiar red ribbon symbol of AIDS awareness.  
Behind the table stood a man and a woman handing out free condoms and  
taking donations for an AIDS research organisation.  
  
While Tom and Fraser chatted, Ray looked around the mall, initially to  
spot any likely protestors or troublemakers, but also because the mix  
of people who frequented this mall was a source of fascination for him.  
At a table nearby an elderly Greek woman fed french-fries to her granddaughter;  
an Asian man with a newborn baby on his back chose fruit from a greengrocer;  
a middle-aged man pushed his disabled wife in her wheelchair. Amongst  
these people weaved the same mix he had seen at the Fair Day a week earlier,  
men in leather, women in army boots, men in high heels. Ray felt a surge  
of happiness in his heart and he was pleased to live in a place and a  
time where race, gender and sexual orientation did not matter.  
  
While they waited for the show to begin, many people came to the table  
to collect leaflets and make a donation. One of them, a large hirsute  
man dressed in tight leather pants, a leather vest and leather cap caught  
sight of Fraser and wandered over to stand in front of him.  
  
"Good afternoon, Sir," Fraser smiled politely at the man.  
  
"Is that a real Mountie uniform?" The man asked in a Canadian  
accent, lifting a large hand to stroke his moustache.  
  
"Why yes it is. And is that a real Canadian accent you have?"  
  
"Yes it is." He grinned slightly and leaned closer, his leather  
pants creaking as he did. "Where you from?"  
  
"The Yukon," Fraser said proudly. "And you?"  
  
"Alberta," the leather man replied, leaning even closer. "You  
like bears?"  
  
Beside him Ray and Tom exchanged a glance and began to snigger, but Fraser  
tried his best to ignore them. "Why, yes. I do like bears. But  
of course, it depends on which sort of bear you are talking about. For  
example," he took a breath and continued, "whilst I have had  
experience with brown bears, I am most familiar with polar bears...."  
  
The leather man cut him off. "Euww, that's sick. You're disgusting!  
You're a danger to society!" And with that he stalked off, leaving  
Fraser open-mouthed and staring at the small brown bear tucked in the  
leather man's back left pocket.  
  
Ray and Tom laughed loudly. Fraser turned to Ray, searching for an explanation,  
but Ray laughed so hard, he had tears in his eyes.  
  
"I guess you haven't heard the term 'bear' before, Constable?"  
Tom asked, trying to ease the Mountie's discomfort.  
  
"No. No, I haven't. Is it some American colloquial term that I'm  
not familiar with?"  
  
By this time Ray had his laughter under control. "No, Fraser, it's  
a gay 'colloquial term'." He slipped an arm around Fraser's shoulder  
and pulled him closer so he could whisper in his ear. "You see,  
Fraser, a bear is a guy who is, well, hairy.....all over.....ya know,  
like a bear...."  
  
Fraser straightened and stared at his friend. "Oh." His eyes  
were like saucers. "So he was asking.....?" Ray nodded.   
"And he thought I......?" Ray nodded again. "Oh dear,"  
he muttered, blushing furiously. "Should I go after him and explain?"  
  
"I don't think so, Fraser."  
  
At that moment, the strains of loud music began to pour forth from the  
speakers around the mall. Tom turned to them.  
  
"You'll have to excuse me guys. It's time to introduce the show."  
He headed towards the stage, collecting a microphone from the mixer as  
he did.  
  
Once onstage, the music was lowered and Tom turned to address the gathering  
crowd.  
  
"Thanks for coming everyone. We've got a great show for you this  
afternoon. The girls are just getting ready and will be out any minute.  
During the show, volunteers will be moving amongst you to collect donations  
for AIDS research. Please give generously because you never know when  
it will affect you, directly or indirectly." He paused for a moment.  
"But now, let me introduce the Hostess with the Mostest - Pan Am!"  
  
Tom moved to the rear as Pan Am strutted onto the stage followed by two  
other drag queens. The three women were dressed in a shortened, sequined  
version of a flight attendants uniform, complete with hat, gloves and  
a tray of coffee cups.  
  
"Hello, everyone!" she screamed. "Thanks for coming to  
see our little show. Before we start, I'd like to say a special thank  
you to my very good friends, Detective ...ah.... Vecchio and Constable  
Fraser." She pointed to Ray and Fraser. "They're here to  
keep an eye on things, so behave or you may find yourself in handcuffs!"  
  
"The guy in red can put me in handcuffs any time!" a voice  
called from the audience.  
  
"Now, now keep yourself nice!" Pan Am said to the faceless  
voice. She turned and indicated the other two drag queens, who had been  
waiting patiently behind her. "Now these are my other two good  
friends, Victoria Barracks and Portia Turbo and we're going to do a few  
numbers...."  
  
Music spilled forth from the speakers. Fraser did not recognise the  
song, but Ray obviously did for his feet tapped along in time and, he  
was certain, even danced along with them.  
  
The women performed a series of tricky dance steps whilst juggling their  
trays and miming the words to 'Leaving on a Jet Plane'. Fraser watched  
in surprise. He had never seen a drag show before and it was certainly  
a strange sight.  
  
When the song ended, Portia and Victoria dashed backstage to change whilst  
Pan continued her banter, encouraging the audience to donate.  
  
"So what do you think, Fraser?" Ray slapped his hand on Fraser's  
shoulder, grinning at his friend's surprise.  
  
"Oh, well, they're very.....talented..."  
  
Before Ray could tease him any further a pretty young boy dressed in  
very small shorts and tank top appeared in front of them clutching a  
large bucket adorned with red ribbons.  
  
"Would you like to make a donation?" He batted his eyelashes  
at both men.  
  
Ray pulled a pile of notes from his pocket and thrust them into the bucket,  
accepting silently a sticker that announced his donation. Fraser took  
off his hat and pulled a note from inside, handed it to the boy and replaced  
the hat on his head. The boy reached over and pressed the sticker onto  
Fraser's chest, his hand lingering longer than was strictly necessary.  
Fraser blushed and Ray laughed again as the boy moved off.  
  
"Fraser, you can't tell me no guy's ever flirted with you before.  
I mean, let's face it, you could be the poster boy for Gay America."  
  
But before Fraser could ask him exactly what he meant, Pan Am and her  
companions were back on stage dressed in short skirts covered in red  
hearts miming to Cher's version of 'The Shoop Shoop Song' and Fraser  
knew it would have to wait. When this song ended Portia and Victoria  
continued miming to Cher's 'I've Found Someone', dancing around the stage  
in dangerously high heels with deceptive ease. Fraser continued to watch  
the show in silence, waiting for the moment when he could question Ray  
about his comment.  
  
As 'I've Found Someone' ended there was a brief moment of silence and  
Fraser turned to Ray. Just as he opened his mouth to speak Pan Am appeared  
on stage again, this time dressed in a copy of the costume Cher had worn  
for her 'If I Could Turn Back Time' film clip. The crowd roared with  
appreciation and again Fraser was speechless. Beside him Ray clapped  
and cheered with gusto, even going as far as calling out for Pan to 'go  
for it, baby', much to Fraser's embarrassment. He tried not to notice  
that his friend was dancing on the spot.  
  
At the end of the song, Pan gave a gracious bow.  
  
"Thank you darlings!" she called to the effusive crowd.  
  
Before she could get another word out a small voice came from the audience.  
"Is Barney on next?"  
  
The audience roared with laughter and Ray noticed the voice came from  
the young Greek girl he had seen before the show.  
  
Pan took it all in her stride, laughing with everyone. She leaned down  
as gracefully as her six-inch heels would let her, speaking directly  
to the child.  
  
"No, honey, but I've got a purple dress out back if you want me  
to put it on."  
  
The audience erupted in laughter. Pan waved them into silence. "OK,  
now you're all in such a good mood I want you to reach deep into your  
pockets and give to our AIDS research project."  
  
Pan called for Victoria Barracks and Portia Turbo to once again join  
her on stage. "The girls and I would like to thank you all for  
coming to see us today. We'd like to thank our police friends."  
She winked at Ray and Fraser. "And, most of all we'd like to thank  
Carrington Mall for having us. Don't forget to 'Shop Yourselves Stupid'."  
  
The crowd applauded loudly and began to move off as the women left the  
stage.  
  
"Did you like it, Fraser?" Ray asked, almost bouncing on the  
balls of his feet.  
  
"Why yes, Ray. It was all for a very good cause. I can honestly  
say I have never seen anything quite like it." He frowned. "What  
I can't understand, though, is why the police were needed at an event  
like this." He waved a hand at the crowd around them. "These  
people are causing no trouble."  
  
Ray frowned and looked around him at the mix of people in the mall.   
"It's not these people I'm worried about."  
  
As Fraser was about to question him further, Tom approached them once  
again. "Ray is right, Constable. Sadly we have had a number of  
problems at Gay Pride functions from people who believe we're a blight  
on society and we deserve to die from AIDS."  
  
"But that's ridiculous." Disbelief showed on his face as he  
looked between Ray and Tom.  
  
"Not everyone thinks like you, Fraser."  
  
"But I wish more did," Tom smiled at them both. "Listen,  
I want to thank you both for coming today. It really means a lot to  
us."  
  
"No problem, Tom. You have my numbers, so call if I can help with  
anything else." Ray smiled at Tom, accepted his goodbye kiss and  
then turned to Fraser. "It's time we got going."  
  
"Ah....yes....well," Fraser stammered, unnerved by the easy  
display he had just witnessed.  
  
They made their goodbyes and Ray led a still stunned Fraser towards the  
exit.  
  
"You should come to the drag races next weekend," Tom called  
as they walked away.  
  
"We'd love to, thanks," Ray called over his shoulder as he  
steered Fraser out the door and into the carpark.  
  
"Ray, you know I have no interest in cars, much less racing them,"  
Fraser protested as they neared the car.  
  
Ray sniggered. "Don't worry, there won't be a car in sight, Fraser."  
He unlocked the passenger door for his companion and then moved to the  
driver's side, unlocking his own.  
  
"But....." He stopped, his mind suddenly full of images, each  
one stranger than the last. He shook his thoughts away and got into  
the car. It couldn't possibly be what he thought. Drag racing was a  
sport that involved cars, wasn't it?  
  
Fraser was pleased that during the events of the past week he had learned  
a great deal about the gay community and also about his friend, but the  
smug grin on Ray's face as they drove off told him he still had a lot  
to learn.  
  
  
Comments welcome at  



End file.
